The best compliments I've received
Compliments that revealed a new dimension of myself
I sometimes reflect upon the best compliments I’ve ever received.
To fall into the realm of “best compliment”, it must be unique, specific, and somewhat surprising. Compliments like “you are nice” or “you are smart” lack specificity. Compliments that I made a good pass in soccer are unique and specific (and rare!), but not surprising since I usually also felt it was a good pass.
There are two compliments that stand out as “best compliments”.
The first was on a trip to South Korea after high school. While visiting a friend in Seoul, I got a haircut at a salon near his home. The barber, a middle aged lady, complimented me, with my friend translating from Korean to English, that “you have a nice head shape”.
It was such a surprising compliment. No one has told me this either before or since. And occasionally, I do consider my head shape and believe my head is quite spherical.
The second and more notable compliment was on a project while working as a consultant at McKinsey & Company.
I was around one year into my two year stint, so I was experienced but not yet jaded. At McKinsey, consultants switch projects every 3-6 months. It was typical to have feedback on a ~monthly cadence with my manager on any given project. Both my manager and I would come into the feedback session prepared with strengths, weaknesses, and specific examples supporting each point of feedback.
This particular manager was a German woman who’d moved to the United States via a McKinsey transfer two years prior. She was kind but also direct by American standards. Our clients were a bunch of men, so at work she was generally “one of the guys”.
During our first feedback session, her most notable strength for me was that “I was easy to work with”.
This was quite surprising to me for a few reasons. First, it was different than the typical feedback I received. I often got the feedback that I was good with numbers or good at making slides.
Second, I frankly thought she was more likely to not like working with me. Perhaps this is partly due to my natural anxiety and shyness, and also partly due to her German personality.
But it turned out, she thought I was among the easiest analysts she’s worked with.
In retrospect, I could understand why she felt I was easy-to-work-with. I’m a positive person, rarely complain, avoid calling attention to myself, take ownership over problems, am fast to respond to messages, and reliable to do my work as expected.
This feedback session was a moment of realization that being popular in school is different than being popular as a colleague. Though I never stood out socially in school since I’m not especially outgoing, I could still be popular as a easy-to-work-with colleague.
I’ve often thought back to this feedback and now view “being easy to work with” as a strength of mine.
This was perhaps the best compliment I ever received because if she didn’t tell me this, I may never have had that impression of myself.
What is the best compliment you have received and why?